Sailor Inuyasha
by shadowandhawk
Summary: We, as in Shadow and Hawk, get a hold of the main characters of Inuyasha and make them perform to a rewrite of the 1st Sailor Moon theme song


Hi! Hawk here! This is our second ff, and our first Inuyasha one! While I know it's a little weird, please no flames! If you don't like far-out fics, then don't read our stories! And if you ask a question, I can almost guarantee that we'll respond, cause we have no life! Thanx, and enjoy!  
  
WARNING: Legal nonsense ahead!!  
  
DISCLAIMER:  
  
Shadow: Ello! We are gathered here today to... um...  
  
Hawk: Tell a story, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: Yes... a... story  
  
*Shadow twitches her fox ears and walks offstage. She can be heard speaking with the director*  
  
Shadow: Was there a 'story' in my contract?  
  
Director: Yes. The title of the contract is "Hawk and Shadow's Story Contract'.  
  
Shadow: ... Oh. *walks back onstage, her fox tail slightly bristled*  
  
Hawk:*twitching her cat ears and tail* Did you even read the contract?  
  
*Shadow scribbles on something on a note card and hands it to Hawk*  
  
Shadow: Meh.  
  
Hawk: I KNOW you are not deaf and mute. I've known you for a long time.  
  
Shadow... So... to the story..  
  
Spike: Aren't you forgetting something?  
  
Shadow: What're we forgetting?  
  
Sano: The disclaimer?  
  
Shadow: What's that?  
  
Hawk: Sorry, we're new at this...  
  
Shadow: First timers!!  
  
Inuyasha: *eyetwitch* That's where you say you don't own me or any of the other things here...  
  
Shadow: *pulls fluffy pink kitten plushie out of nowhere* NO!!! Not Snuggums!! I'll never give her up!!  
  
Inuyasha: AUGH! Not that way!! The characters! The characters!!  
  
Hawk: Why do we need to do that?  
  
Jet: Because some people have nothin better to do than to sue the poor souls who simply forgot a disclaimer.  
  
Shadow/Hawk: *look at each other* Oh.  
  
Hawk: Sooooo.... what do we need to say, exactly?  
  
Kurama: That's it, I'm taking over.  
  
Shadow: NO!!  
  
Hawk: That's not fair!! We're new at this!!  
  
Kurama: Fine. *sigh* Repeat after me.  
  
Shadow: After me!!  
  
Kurama: *glare* We, Shadow and Hawk.  
  
Hawk/Shadow: We Shadow and Hawk.  
  
Kurama: Do not claim ownership of any of the copyrighted material pictured or mentioned in this story.  
  
Hawk/Shadow: Do not claim..... previously claimed things.... in the story?....  
  
Kurama: ........ Close enough. May we PLEASE start now?  
  
Shadow: *yawns and drops ears back* I dunno if I want to anymore...  
  
*Shadow is pelted with various objects*  
  
Shadow: I was only kidding!*sweatdrop*  
  
Hawk: Yay!! Here we go!!  
  
Here's the actual story you came here to read:  
  
Shadow: Hey, Hawk, are you sure this'll work?  
  
Hawk: Of course!! When have I been wrong?  
  
Shadow: Well there was that time when you suggested we try to balance on basketballs on the driveway that tilted.  
  
Hawk: Besides that!  
  
Shadow: There was also tha-  
  
Hawk: SHHHH!! Here they come!!  
  
*Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou emerge from the trees. Hawk clamps a hand over Shadow's mouth and pulls them down into the bushes. There is a perfect circle of leaves resting in the middle of the dirt floor of the clearing. Inuyasha places one foot on it and the whole thing collapses inward, revealing a huge hole.*  
  
Inuyasha: What kind of bird brains would set such and obvious trap?  
  
*Shadow and Hawk burst out behind them and shove the whole group into the huge hole.*  
  
Shadow: Yay!! I told you it would work!  
  
Hawk: *eyetwitch*  
  
Inuyasha: *trying to scale the walls* what the hell!! Let me out! I'll kill you!!  
  
Shadow: *waving frantically* HI!!!  
  
*Sango and Kagome wave back good-naturedly.*  
  
Sango: Hi, Shadow. Hi Hawk.  
  
Kagome: It's been awhile!  
  
Inuyasha: What!! How do you know them!?!?!  
  
Sango: I dunno, we just do. It's their story, but I know we're friends.  
  
*Hawk helps Sango and Kagome out. Shippou is resting on Kagome's shoulder.*  
  
Hawk: We have a favor to ask. If you'll agree to help us, we'll let you out.  
  
Miroku: Alright. We'll help.  
  
Inuyasha: Speak for yourself!! I am NOT going to help them!! It's they're fault we're in here in the first place!  
  
*Shadow helps Miroku out.*  
  
Shadow: Well, that's too bad. We really need all of you or none of you, and I'd hate to have to throw Shippou back into that hole, you know him being a fellow fox type thing.  
  
Hawk: Yeah, and Kagome and Sango seem pretty eager to do this...  
  
Inuyasha: Grrrrr.......... fine! Let me out. I'll help.  
  
Shadow: Yay!! Thankie, thankie!!  
  
*As Inuyasha is helped out of the hole a Hawk's black dragon, Nightshade, and Shadows black and rust-colored gryphon, Nightblaze, appear. Hawk, Kagome, and Inuyasha pile onto Shade and Sango, Shadow, Shippou and Miroku climb onto Blaze.*  
  
~*Later*~  
  
Shadow: Welcome to our castle!!  
  
Hawk: We have a castle?  
  
Shadow; well, no, but I rented this WHOLE theater for our show.  
  
Hawk: Good job!! You did something right for a change!  
  
Shadow: I had a butterfly for breakfast!!  
  
Hawk: Random. Okay, backstage!  
  
*At this Sango and Kagome begin giggling, knowing what's in store for them and their comrades. Hawk leads them backstage as Shadow appears wheeling a large clothing rack with an assortment of costumes, most of which look like the sailor scout outfits. Also, a very familiar wolf youkai can be seen in the background working on the lighting on the balcony overhead*  
  
Inuyasha: *sweatdrop* hey! Wait a second!! What is Kouga doing here!?!?  
  
Shadow: Huh? Oh, him!! He's a 'cousin' of mine. Ya know, I'm from the fox youkai family, he's from the wolf. We're 'family'. He's our stage director. Hey, Kouga! How's it going?  
  
*Kouga looks up from a clipboard, smiling and giving Shadow a thumbs- up. He sees Inuyasha and walks away laughing.* Shadow: He thinks this will be funny.  
  
Hawk: Okay, we need you guts to fill the roles for us. The sailor scouts were supposed to do a show tonight, but they did not show, and you guys are our choice for substitutes. Now to dole out the costumes....Shadow!!  
  
Shadow: Yes ma'am?  
  
Hawk: Will you hand them the appropriate costumes as I assign them?  
  
*Shadow nods.*  
  
Hawk: Alrighty!! Sango, you'll be playing Sailor Venus. Miroku will be Sailor Mercury, Shippou will be Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter will be Kagome.  
  
*Shadow doles out the costumes and sweatdrops when Miroku takes his a 'little' too eagerly.*  
  
Hawk: And you, Inuyasha, will be Sailor Moon!!  
  
Inuyasha: WHAT!! There is no way in hell I'm gonna do this!!  
  
Kagome: C'mon Inuyasha! It'll be fun. Please?  
  
Sango: Yeah... *snicker* it'll be 'fun'...... *giggle*  
  
*Inuyasha accepts the costume from Shadow, snapping at her and he smiles. Shadow yelps and jumps behind the costume rack. *  
  
Hawk: Alright! Dressing rooms are to your right! COSTUMES!!!  
  
~*More Later*~  
  
*Hawk and Shadow are in the announcer's box. The curtain rises on the stage and we see, from left to right, Miroku, Sango, Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippou; dressed in their assigned costumes complete with the hairstyle given to each 'Sailor Scout'. Kirara is sitting near Sango, dyed all black except for a yellow moon on her forehead. (A/N: They used hair dye!! Shadow and her mom (I am shadow, I wrote this) recently dyed our Chihuahua, Tex. He was tan and white and now he's black, tan, and white. It works!!)*  
  
Hawk: Remember, we have the song on tape, so you don't have to sing if you don't want to. You don't need to dance really, just pose!! Three, two, one!! GO!!  
  
*Multi colored lights shine on the stage as Shadow starts the music. Sango and Kagome seem to be having a wonderful time, Shippou is scowling, Miroku is.... well..... enjoying himself more than I would like to admit and Inuyasha is glaring at the announcer's box hoping that a bolt of lightening will miraculously strike Shadow and Hawk dead.*  
  
Hawk: And now, for your pleasure, we'd like to present Sailor Inuyasha and the Sailor Scouts!  
  
Fighting evil by daylight Sitting in trees by moonlight Never running from a real fight He is the one named Inuyasha  
  
He has a lot of really weird friends He has an obsession with ramen He tries to get a miko girlfriend He is the one named Inuyasha  
  
* at this point, Inuyasha starts yelling choice curses that aren't audible over the extremely loud 'music' and yells something that sounds vaguely like "What do you mean a miko girlfriend? Mikos are freaks!" then we see Kagome mouth something and Inuyasha crashes to the ground in a flash of purple light*  
  
Sango Miroku Shippou Kagome  
  
Always gets hurt but he is okay He is the one named Inuyasha Fighting evil by daylight Sitting in trees by moonlight Found the wind scar when he lost his sight He is the one named Inuyasha He is the one named Inuyasha He is the one....... Inuyasha  
  
Shadow: Yay!! I'm not dead yet!  
  
Inuyasha: *somehow back in his original clothing* Not yet! But you will be!!  
  
*Hawk goes to thank the rest for helping them as Inuyasha chases Shadow around in the background. No one seems to notice as Inuyasha catches up to Shadow and bites her tail. In response Shadow climbs up the curtain and runs along the rafters. Inuyasha cuts the rafters to little pieces as Hawk continues to chat with Sango and Kagome.*  
  
Shadow: HAWK!!! Help Shadow!! Fox thief in distress!!  
  
*Kagome looks over her shoulder to see an infuriated Inuyasha threatening to chop Shadow into little cubes then feed her to his team mates and when they ask what the secret ingredient is his cooking(if he ever actually cooked) he'd say well funny you should ask...*  
  
Kagome: *sigh* Sit, boy.  
  
Shadow: *whimpers*  
  
Hawk: Well, you better get him outta here before Shadow gives him rabies or something...  
  
Shadow: Hawk!! We've had this talk! I am fully rabies vaccinated!! My tail is bleeding all over the floor. I think I need a doctor.... or these bandages that happened to have appeared right next to me......*wraps tail in bandages*  
  
Hawk: Bye!!  
  
*The small group leaves, dragging a raging Inuyasha behind them. Shadow, having to get the last say in any argument, smiles sweetly and blows Inuyasha a kiss, eyes twinkling. Inuyasha bares his teeth to her and Shadow turns into a fox and scampers away.*  
  
Hawk: Well, thanks for reading the whole thing. I better go find Shadow before Inuyasha gets free and finds her. Thanks for your support!!  
  
Shadow: R&R please!! It'll help me with my long and painful recovery in the hospital!!  
  
*Hawk and Shadow wave frantically, ears bobbing and tails wagging.*  
  
The end........... or is it?  
  
Yes. That's the end. 


End file.
